New music review: Guns N’ Roses - Chinese Democracy (full album review)

guns n roses chinese democracy coverA day some thought would never arrive is here: the debut album by Guns N’ Roses Mark II has finally found its way into the wild.  Let’s get the unrealistic expectations out of the way first: no, it’s not as good as Appetite For Destruction, nor either of the Use Your Illusion discs, and no album short of a career-defining masterpiece could really justify the record’s protracted gestation period.  Yes, it’s basically an Axl Rose solo album, but frankly to release this under any name but GNR — no matter how technically inaccurate — would be flushing millions of sales down the drain, and that would be stupid.

Suffice to say Chinese Democracy is not a masterpiece, nor does it accomplish the nigh-impossible task of matching up to the work of an almost completely different band from a lifetime ago.  That said, it is a record that deserves to be evaluated on its own merits, which is what I’ll attempt to do here as much as is humanly possible.

The album doesn’t flow particularly well, betraying its fragmented genesis — songs lurch this way and that in ADD fashion, rarely settling into any particular groove for too long and frequently introducing distracting effects and instrumentation.  Several WTF moments punctuate the disc (particularly the bizarre acapella intro to “Scraped”) and definitely burst any remaining illusion that this could be the product of an actual band rather than a single overwhelming force of ego.

Speaking of whom, Axl is in fairly good voice throughout, though it’s somewhat disconcerting to hear obvious use of autotune processing throughout the record.  He also tends to emphasize the melodic aspects of his singing above raw power, his true strength, and it does get a bit wearying over the course of the album’s 71-minute length — one keeps hoping for the band to hit more on the heavy rock groove and less on the over-arranged Queen ballad side.

Altogether, while no, Chinese Democracy is not a classic for the ages or what one would maybe hope for from one of the biggest rock bands in the world, it’s a pretty solid record, on a par with a good Alice Cooper album, and will likely hold up for several listens even if it’s not likely to become a favorite.  It’s hard to picture anyone singing any of these songs at karaoke night, but it’s equally difficult to picture a large percentage of longtime Guns N’ Roses fans being completely dissatisfied with this album.  More importantly, now that Axl has broken the dam, perhaps he can get the next one out in a more reasonable amount of time and perhaps avoid the painfully labored-over, yeah-let’s-throw-the-kitchen-sink-in-too vibe that’s substantially in evidence here.

Some spontaneity would be a welcome novelty for the followup.  And hey, how about some straight-ahead, flat-out rockers? Maybe listen to more AC/DC and less Queen.  That’s be nice.

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Tons of fresh news articles by San Diego, California copywriter Aaron Poehler

copywriting newsNebraska Governor Calls Special Session to Revise Safe Haven Law

“Governor Dave Heineman announced today that a special session of Nebraska’s legislature will be held next month to revise the state’s controversial safe-haven law…” Continue reading

Justice Department Approves Merger of Northwest and Delta Air Lines

“DOJ antitrust regulators announced today that they will not halt the merger of Delta and Northwest, approving a deal which will create the world’s largest airline…”  Continue reading

1 Killed, 1 Injured in Massachusetts Construction Lift Collapse

“A construction worker was killed and another seriously injured when a hydraulic lift platform became unstable and toppled to the ground on the campus of AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals in Waltham, Massachusetts…”  Continue reading

14 Injured in Idaho Bridge Construction Collapse on Interstate 84

“14 construction workers were injured Monday afternoon in Nampa, Idaho when an bridge under construction collapsed under them while they were in the midst of pouring concrete for the structure…”  Continue reading

7 Northeast States Petition EPA to Limit Mercury Emissions

“Seven Northeastern U.S. states have petitioned the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to limit toxic mercury emissions originating from sources outside of the region that contaminate waterways and fish…”  Continue reading

Study Demonstrates Link Between Autism and Rainy Climates

“According to the results of a new study, children who live in areas with high precipitation appear to demonstrate higher rates of autism…”  Continue reading

Supreme Court Evaluates Effects of FDA Drug Labels on Liability Cases

“The Supreme Court is currently hearing a case which could result in restrictions on lawsuits against drug manufacturers if the justices decide FDA approval conveys protection from liability claims…”  Continue reading

French Researchers Claim Experimental Diet Drug Tricks Body Into Losing Weight

“A team of scientists at the University of Louis Pasteur in Strasbourg say that experimental drug SRT1720 encourages the body to burn fat reserves even on a fatty diet…”  Continue reading

Bridge Construction Accident Sends Workers Tumbling Into Louisiana Lake, Kills 1

“One man is dead after a girder gave way and fell from a 30-foot piling into Louisiana’s Lake Pontchartrain from a new bridge under construction on Interstate 10…”  Continue reading

Arkansas Voters Pass Ban on Unmarried Couples Adopting or Fostering Unwanted Children

“On Tuesday, nearly 57 percent of Arkansas voters approved a ballot measure barring adoptive and foster care children from placement in the homes of couples who are not married…”  Continue reading

Oneida County Office Building Reopened Following Asbestos Scare

“The Oneida County Office Building in Utica, New York was reopened Thursday after test results for the presence of asbestos in air samples taken from throughout the building came back negative…”  Continue reading

Former Morgan Stanley Broker Sanctioned for Robbing Accounts of Minor Malpractice Victims

“New York Stock Exchange regulators today banned stockbroker Charles Winitch from working for member firms for a period of five years after he pocketed over $100,000 making unauthorized trades using the accounts of injured children…”  Continue reading

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Hot current Lawyershop news articles by San Diego copywriter Aaron Poehler

26 More Genes Associated with Most Common Form of Lung Cancer Identified

“The findings of a study published in the journal Nature show that researchers have identified 26 genes associated with adenocarcinoma, the most common type of lung cancer…” Continue reading

2 Small Planes Collide in Midair over Colorado, No Injuries Reported

“Two single-engine Cessnas containing a total of six people collided in midair Wednesday over Colorado, but all people aboard the planes survived and no injuries were reported…” Continue reading

8-year-old Boy Dies after Accidentally Shooting Self with Gun Club Uzi

“8-year-old Christopher Bizilj of Ashford, Connecticut died Sunday after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing a fully automatic Uzi machine gun at a gun fair…” Continue reading

FDA Issues Warning Letters to Bayer over Unapproved Aspirin Products

“In warning letters issued today, the FDA stated that two over-the-counter aspirin-based medications marketed by Bayer AG make unsubstantiated health claims about fighting osteoporosis and heart disease…” Continue reading

Explosion at NW Louisiana Gas Transmission Station Injures 1

“Emergency crews are currently on the scene of a gas transmission station in Caddo Parish, Louisiana, where one man has reportedly been injured in the wake of a natural gas explosion…” Continue reading

Convicted Hedge Fund Swindler to Undergo Medical and Psychological Evaluation

“Judge Kenneth Karas has ordered convicted swindler Samuel Israel to undergo a thorough evaluation in order to determine whether or not Israel is competent to plead guilty to bail-jumping charges…” Continue reading

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New search-optimized copywriting: The Law Office of Frank E. Tournour - East Brunswick, NJ

tournourI wrote the following ten new search-optimized webpages for the website of East Brunswick, New Jersey family law attorney Frank E. Tournour:

Matrimonial Law Super Lawyer Frank E. Tournour

Divorce Lawyers Gregg Rubenstein and Angela Pastor

Experienced Mediation Attorney Frank E. Tournour

Child Visitation

Grandparents’ Rights

FAQs About Divorce

Child Support FAQs

Annulment

Paternity Issues

Battered Women

Learn more about my copywriting services and contact me today at apoehler@hotmail.com to learn more about how a skilled, experienced copywriter can help set you ahead of the competition.

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New search-optimized copywriting: The Roberts Law Firm, Newport Beach, California

robertslawI wrote and search-optimized all of the copy for http://www.robertslawfirm.net/, the brand-new 20-page website of Orange County product liability and personal injury lawyer Jeff Roberts.  Learn more about my copywriting services and contact me today at apoehler@hotmail.com to learn more about how a skilled, experienced copywriter can help set you and your business or organization ahead of the competition.

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Music video review roundup: 1991 The Year Punk Broke, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Slow Century, There’ll Always Be An England, The Future Is Unwritten, The Ultimate Revenge

devil daniel johnstonI spent last weekend catching up on a bunch of music-related video stuff that I’d been meaning to get around to for one reason or another.  Your results may vary.

I don’t really know how I avoided seeing 1991: The Year Punk Broke until now, as I recall liking the music Sonic Youth, Nirvana, Dinosaur Jr., the Ramones, et al made around that time and all.  I’d think someone in my peer group would have insisted at one time or another.  After viewing, however, I understand why word-of-mouth never recommended this for consumption: the movie is basically the worst piece of crap possible.  It’s redeemed not even slightly by its inclusion of decent performance footage of the bands playing, due to shitty sound.  Also, every time Thurston Moore talks on camera any decent person would want to punch him and not stop until he stops talking, he’s so goddamn annoying.  This is a waste of even a fan’s time.   I made it through to the end though, yay me.

Conversely, The Devil and Daniel Johnston was thoroughly enjoyable and recommended viewing for pretty much anyone.  It’s a great story of which I only knew about half, as it turns out, and previous familiarity with the work of Daniel isn’t necessary — frankly the less familiar with him you are, the more surprising the film would probably be.  Well-done on every level, not just as a music-related artifact: I’d recommend this wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoyed American Splendor, for example.

Thurston Moore also appears onscreen in Pavement’s Slow Century, a fairly standard here’s-the-story-and-some-performance-footage recap of the band’s history.  Pavement wasn’t the kind of band that lent itself to wacky tour antics or legendary rumors, so there isn’t much here in the way of big shocker moments — I imagine this would be pretty hard to get through if you didn’t already have an interest in the music of Pavement, so non-fans should probably skip this one.  I pretty much enjoyed it throughout, though I can’t imagine I’ll be going back to rewatch it anytime soon.

The Sex Pistols’ There’ll Always Be An England is their first legitimate live performance video, which seems pretty surprising considering the amount of live Pistols performance footage I’ve seen over the yearsShot in London, basically There’ll Always Be An England and the bonus documentary The Knowledge both feature middle-aged men revisiting the sights, sounds, and locations of their childhoods.  Not bad, but not great — if you didn’t like the live reunion album Filthy Lucre you won’t like this either, and I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone who’s not a Pistols aficionado.  Way too many random shots of people in the crowd mouthing the words to the tunes, too, cut that shit out, director Julien Temple.  I also watched a bootleg of the Pistols’ “last” show in San Fransisco, 1978, and the comparison was illuminating: young guys playing songs badly vs. older men plodding through the same songs nearly 30 years on.  One thing is constant throughout though, and that’s that John Lydon/Johnny Rotten is always pretty entertaining no matter what else happens to be going onTemple’s The Filth and The Fury remains the definitive Pistols video, though.

Pistols guitarist Steve Jones also pops up in Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten, a mostly loving tribute to the deceased Clash leader (also by Temple — though sporting a somewhat contradictory title to the Pistols release) that does us the service of not glossing over Strummer’s willingness to discard friends in order to conform with punk orthodoxy, his long post-Clash fallow period, or his ongoing anxiety over coming from less-than-impoverished roots.   The contrived “campfire setting for all the interviews” gimmick is a little over-the-top corny and pretentious all at the same time, and whenever a famous face pops up onscreen (Johnny Depp, John Cusack, Martin Scorsese) you know they’re just going to yammer some intolerable bullshit with no bearing on reality whatsoever, but there’s a surprising amount of documentation of even the earliest days of the Clash here and it’s mostly told in Joe’s own words thanks to extensive use of interview recordings and his radio show broadcasts.  Falls short of wide Devil and Daniel Johnston-type appeal, but nice for anyone who ever even kinda liked the Clash.

The Ultimate Revenge, featuring vintage early 80’s performances by Venom, Slayer, and Exodus, is basically just intertwined excerpts of Venom, Slayer, and Exodus playing at Studio 54 (the titular ‘revenge’ is on disco, to show you just how much this thing is a product of its time) along with some execrable interview footage.  Slayer is pretty awesome, Exodus is pretty bad but with surprisingly good guitar leads, Venom is kinda corny but enjoyably so in that over-the-top classic metal way.  Let’s face it though, there’s no need for caveats here — unless you’re already way into classic mid-80s metal you’re not even gonna think about trying to track this one down.

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New Lawyershop news articles by San Diego copywriter Aaron Poehler

copywriter aaron poehler news articlesStudy Shows Increased Risks of Heart Disease, Stroke from COPD Drug Use

“A paper published this week reports that drugs commonly prescribed for COPD were associated with increased risks of cardiovascular problems and stroke…” Continue reading

FDA Study Shows No Link Between Use of Statins and ALS

“The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released an analysis of the results of 41 clinical trials today which demonstrates that use of statins does not increase the risk of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)…” Continue reading

Study Shows That Popular Supplements Fail To Help Slow Arthritis

“A two-year study has showed that glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, two popular supplements commonly used for arthritis and joint pain, were ineffective at slowing the loss of knee cartilage or the progress of the disease…” Continue reading

More Than 90% of Nursing Homes Cited For Violations Last Year

“According to a report issued yesterday by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, over 90 percent of American nursing homes were cited for violations of federal health and safety standards in 2007…” Continue reading

Study Shows Traffic Fatality Numbers Spike on Election Day

“A study which appears in today’s issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that more people die in traffic accidents on days when U.S. presidential elections are held…” Continue reading

4 Killed in Crash of Maryland Medical Helicopter

“Four people died Sunday when an emergency medical-services helicopter crashed in suburban Washington, D.C while attempting to land after picking up two automobile accident victims…” Continue reading

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This is what happens when you don’t hire a professional copywriter

As I believe I’ve mentioned here before, I’m a freelance copywriter with many years of experience crafting professional writing.  Although the benefits of hiring a professional copywriter are well-documented, once in a while people try to do it themselves.  Usually what happens is they find that it’s not as easy at it looks, give up quickly, and hire a copywriter anyway.  Sometimes, though, amateur copy gets passed through anyway, which inevitably ends up resulting in embarrassment for all concerned.  Witness this otherwise fairly professional-looking Philadephia legal website: I don’t know for sure that they cheaped out on the copywriting end, but either way, whatever they did didn’t work out so well.  I just picture a police officer saying, “Thank god his injuries were only fatal.   He could have suffered serious injuries!”

seriousfatalinjuries

seriousfatalinjuriescrop

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Why I probably won’t be watching Heroes this season: either Jeph Loeb is retarded or he thinks his audience is. (Thoughts on Ultimates 3 #5 and Hulk #6)

skeeeetThe TV show Heroes started up once more this week.  I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as an avid watcher of the show during its first season, but I kept up with it enough that I watched the season finale the night it was broadcast.  Then that finale hit, and when I describe it as “unsatisfying” I’m being charitable — it may have killed the show for me.  I did watch the season 2 premiere when the show returned, but never managed to get back to it: the remainder of season 2’s episodes sat unwatched long enough that now I’m left with the decision of whether to bother even trying to get back into the show now that it’s back for season 3.  I’m leaning towards the answer being “no” for one reason: Jeph Loeb.

This week, two Loeb-written comics came out, and both were ostensibly “finales” in their own way, Ultimates 3 #5 being the last of the mini-series and Hulk #6 being the end of the story arc.  Now, in case you haven’t been keeping up, Loeb only uses one plot for his comics lately: someone’s been murdered and there’s a mystery.  There are very well-defined rules for writing this type of plot, and it’s best to stick to them unless you’re a genius because otherwise your audience is likely to feel cheated and will not be back for more.  Amazingly, Loeb manages to break those rules in both books.  Suffice to say, he is not a genius.

In Ultimates 3 #5, we do at least get a partial, half-assed answer for who killed the Scarlet Witch in #1, although the explanation makes absolutely no sense, like the rest of this series.  Worse, an out-of-nowhere last-page reveal confuses the issue even more: okay, so a robot went nuts and killed Wanda.  And then…Doom was involved somehow?  To what end?  To top it off, the second ‘mystery’ in the book — “who’s the Black Panther” — is answered but not solved.  We see, yes, as pretty much everyone guessed after the second (first?) issue, Captain America is the Black Panther.  But why?  “Uh, I’ll tell you later.”  FUCK YOU JEPH LOEB.  That is not an answer.

Hulk #6 is even worse, though. The entire story arc has been based around one thing: who’s this new Red Hulk that shot the Abomination?  And this issue DOESN’T answer the question at all — or even promise that the answer is coming.  It feels like nothing more than the second-season premiere of Twin Peaks, where the entire show’s audience collectively stopped watching after the program failed to deliver on its implied promise to answer their questions.  There again, by the time the answer to the mystery was finally delivered, no one was watching.

Both books fail to deliver satisfying endings, even given my lowered expectations.  And when I’m wondering whether the addition of a red-suited superspeed character is intriguing enough for me to catch up on Heroes, I’m going to remember that, and my season 1 disappointment, and I think it’s going to be hard to suspend my disbelief and have faith that it’ll pay off this time as long as Jeph Loeb remains a creative force on the show.

Besides, Dexter is coming back, and that always rocks.  Forget the weak bullshit — life’s too short to watch shows that could be good, or used to be good, or might get good.

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Up-to-the-minute Lawyershop news articles by San Diego, California copywriter Aaron Poehler

FDA Orders Stronger Warnings Be Placed on Four Popular Arthritis Drugs

“The FDA today ordered that stronger warnings be placed on four widely used immunosuppressive drugs due to elevated risks of fungal infections…” Continue reading

Metrolink Spokeswoman Tyrrell Resigns in Wake of Criticism over Handling of Accident

“The spokeswoman for rail agency Metrolink resigned after board members said her statements that the agency was responsible for Friday’s commuter train crash were premature…”  Continue reading

Study Links Bisphenol A to Increased Incidence of Heart Disease and Diabetes

“A new study demonstrates that people with elevated levels of bisphenol A are likelier to have heart disease and diabetes…” Continue reading

FDA Issues Warning Letters and Import Alert for Drugs Produced by Ranbaxy

“The FDA today issued warning letters to drug manufacturer Ranbaxy Laboratories due to concerns about deviations from U.S. current Good Manufacturing Practice requirements at two of the company’s manufacturing facilities…”  Continue reading

OSHA Issues $313,500 in Fines to Construction Firms over March Crane Collapse

“OSHA has fined three construction firms a total of $313,500 for alleged safety violations leading to a March crane collapse which killed seven people…” Continue reading

Off-duty Chicago Police Officer Shoots Son, Kills Self and Daughter

“Chicago Police Officer Dannie Marchan committed suicide Monday morning by turning his gun on himself after fatally shooting his young daughter and grievously wounding his 9-year-old son…” Continue reading

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