New DVD review: The Onion Movie (2003 — er, 2008)

The Onion Movie (2008): I’d heard rumors of The Onion being involved in a movie project several years ago, which never sounded like a great idea considering the wit of the average Onion article tends to begin and end with the headline — rare is the extended Onion piece which doesn’t swiftly beat a good joke into the ground, so how could they possible fill 90 minutes? It was hardly surprising when the project was shelved, which is part of why it’s so surprising to see it finally arrive unheralded in direct-to-DVD form. Some of the gags betray the film’s long gestation period, most notably some horribly dated bits riffing on once-virginal Britney Spears making sexually explicit music aimed at the pre-teen market — though it should be noted that these jokes would have been well past their sell-by date even in 2003, when this was reportedly shot (it’s really not good when even Mad TV beats you to the gag).  A few aspects of the final project do come off somewhat unfinished, but for the most part The Onion Movie holds up far better than anyone would have any reason to expect, with many genuinely laugh-out-loud funny moments. The attempts at weaving some sort of coherent throughline into the movie via a thin plot about corporate influence on the news are dead weight (take the time during these segments to go to the bathroom or fix a snack without bothering to press pause; unless you’ve seen Network at least twice, you won’t care at all) and every instance in which a joke is repeated via a callback is one reuse of material too many, but the short-attention-span crowd should find The Onion Movie contains a high enough ratio of hits to misses to be worthwhile.  If nothing else, it’s all worth it for the batter-dipped kitties.

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