Men should almost never wear hats or caps of any kind

June 11th, 2008 | Style, Writing

Men should almost never wear hats or caps of any kind. Sometimes you see a guy wearing a certain type of hat and the only thought that comes to mind is just “Dude…no.” But never do you really see a guy wearing a hat and think “Gee, that actually looks really good.” While many guys wear hats in an attempt to disguise their receding hairlines, they’re not fooling anyone (ask Bret Michaels) — plus, studies have drawn direct correlations between wearing of hats and caps, especially baseball-type caps, and increased rate of hair loss, so it’s entirely counterproductive. The only things worse than Erik Horvat-Markovic’s douche hat shown here are porkpie hats and fedoras, which I maintain should be grounds for beatings to be inflicted without legal ramifications.

These days, hats are nearly always pointless affectations that serve no other function other than to make it easy to identify people with a desperate need for attention, male pattern baldness, a complete lack of a sense of style, or some combination thereof. Unless a hat is being worn for a specific weather related reason (i.e. to keep the sun from giving you heatstroke or to keep your ears from freezing off your head), JUST SAY NO TO HATS AND CAPS, GUYS.