Several new news articles written by me are posted now on Lawyershop.com, including:
European Union Caps Airline Emissions, Angers International Trade Groups
“A landmark agreement reached last week by the European Union to limit greenhouse gas emissions from aircraft has ignited controversy and protest from trade groups who question the legality of the Union’s decision…”
U.S. Supreme Court Limits Punitive Damages in Maritime Law Cases
“In a 5-3 decision hailed as a victory for corporations seeking to limit lawsuit damages, the U.S. Supreme Court has severely reduced the $2.5 billion punitive award in the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill case…”
French Court to Try Continental Airlines and Five Others over Concorde Crash
“A Paris prosecutor has filed manslaughter charges against Houston-based Continental Airlines along with five individuals in connection with the 2000 Concorde jet crash left 113 people dead…”
Panel of FDA Experts Urges Stricter Testing and Standards for Diabetes Drugs
“An FDA panel comprised of outside medical experts has recommended that the agency impose stricter standards for approval of diabetic drugs, including long-term studies on cardiovascular effects…”
Patients Being Recruited For New Columbia University Mesothelioma Treatment Study
“Researchers are currently seeking pleural mesothelioma patients for a clinical research study investigating the possibilities of a new targeted radiation and chemotherapy treatment protocol…”
Motley Crue - Saints of Los Angeles: Listening to this record is like listening to a recovered alcoholic blather on for 44 minutes about how badass he used to be and all the crazy shit he used to do. Motley Crue’s latest attempt to recapture the chart-topping action Motley Crue enjoyed around the time of Dr. Feelgood is a self-conscious look back at the band’s early days intended to tie in with the filmed version of their youthful exploits, but the dearth of memorable, hooky songs kills the party quickly. The awful spoken intro attempts to echo that of Shout At The Devil but just comes off as embarassingly bad, and from there things don’t look up much. The Crue’s style of by-the-numbers manufactured teenage rebellion is so ossified now it’s almost quaint, especially considering the band’s audience is mostly in their thirties and forties, but the nostalgia shot through this record is just a pretty insufferable attempt to self-mythologize and manages to make even tales of misadventure and debauchery sound mind-numbingly tedious. Everything about this album from the overly-processed sounding guitars to the dull tattoo-design album cover (give up on that theme, guys) to the forgettable lyrics without an ounce of wit makes Saints Of Los Angeles an utter chore to get through. Where a good pop-metal record (like, well, Dr Feelgood) makes you want to raise your fist and yell, this one just makes you want to hold your head and groan.
Final Crisis #2: As the behind-the-scenes stories of DC were seemingly beginning to outperform their fictional output recently, along comes Final Crisis #2 to remind us — and clue some of us in — that Grant Morrison’s had this thing pretty well set for awhile, and the story proceeds apace. This issue is a bit more straightforward than the debut (read: more action, fewer cavemen), and the overall thrust of the story becomes a lot more clear. Art is exemplary throughout, which is part of what made the announcement of Carlos Pacheco fill-in pages on #4 on so disappointing — it would be nice if DC could have just one big event book with consistent art and writing alike. Still, I enjoyed this issue from the awesome introductory Japanese superhero sequence to the last-page reveal and as the roller-coaster heads into the first big hill I’m digging the ride.
A new article written by me is up on Docshop.com now:
So as anyone who remotely cares probably already knows, nine purported tracks from Guns ‘N’ Roses’ long-promised Chinese Democracy leaked all over the online world the other day. This isn’t the first time this has happened during the album’s long gestation period by any means — I know “Better” more intimately than most anything they did during the real band’s actual existence outside of Appetite For Destruction by now — but it’s the first time a substantial enough chunk of mostly finished-sounding tracks has appeared to make the album’s imminent completion seem plausible. After listening, I’m not entirely convinced these are in fact finalized versions, though with minor tweaks here and there they’d mostly certainly be releasable. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to come to any conclusion other than that Axl definitely lost the plot long ago: this music shares none of the primal rawk grit that made Appetite For Destruction the “last great rock album” of its time — you know, until the next one, which I guess was probably Nevermind if one goes by popular thinking. These songs have obviously been through several layers of Pro Tools tweaking and the production detritus that has accumulated around them is often enough to obscure their merits by offering an endless parade of irritating distractions: here a skittering drum and bass loop, there an obviously sequenced section, here another drum loop, there odd sound effects, here a clumsily pitch-corrected vocal, there another damn drum loop. Nothing against drum loops and loop-based music, but Guns ‘N’ Roses is ostensibly a rock band, and here the clumsy obviousness of the loops’ integration just highlights the fact that there’s no “there” there. The greatest failing of this music is the most obvious: there is no band sound or feel whatsoever. It’s fully the Axl show and while it’s not all bad by any means, when you break it down it doesn’t really sound much like Guns ‘N’ Roses, even at their least coherent. Some of these songs vacillate between pretty decent and head-cockingly odd; others are really pretty dire. In the end, these tracks convince the listener of the possible existence of Chinese Democracy — but not Guns ‘N’ Roses.
The Bush administration has shown an almost staggering capacity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory over the past several years, so I don’t know why this should surprise me, but the staggering amount of waste and idiocy surrounding the current Economic Stimulus Rebate program continues to amaze me. They already sent out a letter to everyone receiving a stimulus check at least a month ago, at a cost I’ve seen estimated at $42 million, though I have no way of knowing the accuracy of that figure. Yesterday, I get an envelope in my mail that is clearly from the IRS and says STIMULUS PAYMENT in big red letters on the flap. Awesome it’s here — score, right? Not so fast there, sparky. I open the letter and it’s just yet another notification that the check is on its way. I freakin’ knew that already, thanks for wasting another $42 million to tell us all something we already know, and thanks again for the bait-and-switch disappointment of this mailing. Here’s a free little copywriting/direct marketing tip, guys: if you put PAYMENT in big letters on the outside of an envelope and there’s no payment inside, your audience will feel cheated — and that resentment will linger. Now, when the check finally arrives, the reaction is far less likely to be “Hey, thanks guys!” than “Jeez, finally, it’s about dang time.” Once again, kudos, guys — you’ve managed to give the rest of the world yet another thing to laugh at Americans about.
Action Comics #866: I actually had to look back at the credits of this issue to check to see if Richard Donner was involved in its creation — and was surprised to find not even so much as a ‘thanks to’ credit. Odd then, that well after the end of Donner’s involvement in the writing of the series comes the single issue of any Superman comic I’ve ever seen that feels the most like the Donner Superman movies: it has the classic Daily Planet dynamic involving humorous scenes with geeky Clark switching to his alter ego; Zod, Ursa, and Non; Ma & Pa Kent back in Smallville. Hell, this issue even reintroduces obnoxious Planet sportswriter Steve Lombard, who was last a player in the series when those movies were first coming out. Writer Geoff Johns and artists Gary Frank and Jon Sibal are hitting on all cylinders here: pretty much every page is a pleasure both in terms of writing and art, even approaching the timeless quality of Morrison & Quitely’s All-Star Superman. Frank’s Superman looks like the perfect cross between Curt Swan’s rendition of the character and Chris Reeve — even Lois looks very Margot Kidderish at one point, and Ursa is so obviously based on the actress from the Donner movies that I got sidetracked wondering what the likeness rights issues would be with someone like that. I mean, would she have signed them away at the time of the film, or would they have to clear that with her now? Anyway, at least so far Johns & co. seem to be accomplishing that ever-rarer solid superhero story that would work equally as well for someone with no previous knowledge of the series as it would for someone with a Ph.D. in DC continuity. A promising kickoff to Johns’ long-promised Brainiac story and a great jumping-on point; it’s great to see DC’s flagship title is again one of its best.
Men should almost never wear hats or caps of any kind. Sometimes you see a guy wearing a certain type of hat and the only thought that comes to mind is just “Dude…no.” But never do you really see a guy wearing a hat and think “Gee, that actually looks really good.” While many guys wear hats in an attempt to disguise their receding hairlines, they’re not fooling anyone (ask Bret Michaels) — plus, studies have drawn direct correlations between wearing of hats and caps, especially baseball-type caps, and increased rate of hair loss, so it’s entirely counterproductive. The only things worse than Erik Horvat-Markovic’s douche hat shown here are porkpie hats and fedoras, which I maintain should be grounds for beatings to be inflicted without legal ramifications.
